A Celebration of Jessica (Eulogy)
Stewart 
 
Thank you for coming together today to celebrate our beautiful Jessica and to support this lovely family.
I’ve been blessed to know Martin and Nicky for most of my life, and Amy and Jessica since they were glimmers of hope in Martin and Nicky’s eyes. When that hope was realised, first with Amy and then with Jessica (or as Martin and Nicky called her – their ‘Bonus Ball’) it became joy and boundless, unconditional love.
It’s said that our job as parents is to give our kids roots to grow and wings to fly. Jessica (or Jess as most of us know her) loved her roots and had returned home to them. At the same time, she was growing her wings and becoming an accomplished, confident young woman, one with a good and thoughtful heart who loved the people around her.
She had moved back home and was very settled there, with Mum and Dad to provide support and where she REALLY loved the laundry, restaurant and concierge service - whether it was a bit of pampering from Mum, or Dad driving to Tesco to defrost her car after a late shift. Who can blame her, I’d happily move in for a bit of that!
In Amy she had a big sister to look up to and who would be there to quite literally hold her hand, not least when Jess wanted a bit of moral support whenever a needle was in sight. As they grew, so did their closeness and they loved each other’s company on evenings out as well as holidays and trips to meet up at university.
As well as her lifelong best friend Emma, Jess also had a group of close and loving friends whom she thought the world of.
She had met her boyfriend Dean and after just a few months they had found happiness and contentment together.
Jess was flying at university, having found her best place at UCLAN in their Architecture school. She was studying a subject she loved, achieving Firsts in her assignments and had her grandpa on speed dial for a bit of ready advice and the best way to survey a kitchen. She really enjoyed and appreciated the support of the staff and the friendship of her course mates.
Jess was loved and she was happy.
People are like fireworks, they may not last forever, but they give us reasons to look to the sky and be grateful that they shared their light with us. Jess was a bright, dazzling, blazing firework and it’s important that we not only grieve her loss but also remember the light and colour that she brought to our lives. 
I love that she didn’t call me Stewart or Stew but always Stewie. She always commented on my shirts and when I inevitably turned up in yet another flowery number, she would say that I was wearing a “Stewie” shirt…. this one’s for you, Jess.
Our families always spent New Year’s Eve together, and in the early years the girls never complained about sharing a room with our son Fin who wanted to see who could stay awake the longest.
We played party games and Jess was invariably the first to have a go, never minding about any potential embarrassment, especially if it involved her dad. When she and Harry were together, he was often volunteered by Jess, and he would join in with a grin. He became part of our family for the time he was with us, (and I know that feeling of belonging and enrichment was the same for both Jess and Harry’s families).
We’d smile at her choice of dry cereal for breakfast, and that she’d also eat food with us that she wouldn’t eat at home (‘Aunty Suzy does it differently’, she’d say!). We quickly learned that she loved a balanced meal: carbs, carbs, and more carbs.
On such a day as this my words will always be inadequate, but in recent days I’ve seen and heard some of the words that many of YOU have used to describe Jess. …… Warm, funny, bossy, glamorous, committed, bright, admired, determined, messy, caring, helpful, feisty, nurturing, loyal - she was all those things and more, and we loved her for it.
Wherever she went Jess always brought a party with her, so I think it’s only fitting that we start with glamorous.
Well… actually, according to her mum and dad she was either glamorous or comfy, there wasn’t really an in-between, but she did love a bit of glam. This was apparent from an early age when Nicky found her wearing red lipstick in her cot-bed after leaving Nan in charge for an evening out. Then there was the home spa with Emma, face packs, cucumber on their eyes!! …and the two of them still at primary school!
I have no idea about the preparations for a girls’ night out but Martin and Emma both assure me it began quite a few hours before actually leaving the house. Makeup, nails, eyelashes, hair, the whole show! And once preparations had commenced it wouldn’t be long before phones would ping with the all-important question from Jess …  “who’s wearing heels?”.
And Jess didn’t need to be at a party or in town to do glamour, she brought it to everything she did. A country walk, a freezing day, rain, that was no excuse not to add a bit of bling with a furry collar, a sparkly scarf or even a pair of leopard print wellies adorned with ribbons.
She was always one with an eye for style, - she knew what she liked and sometimes what others liked too - often before they did. I mean, who really believes that Martin chooses all those Hawaiian shirts himself?
Jess was determined, and this was evident in the way she came through a difficult time at university in Leeds and to her credit made the very best of a challenging situation. It took strength and courage to begin her studies again at UCLAN and I know her parents are very grateful for the support and encouragement she received from the team and her course mates there.
Of course, like her glamorous side, her determination was also evident from a young age. Dad could be got around when necessary, and Mum was an even easier proposition, according to Jess. Overheard one day when Emma and Jess were small girls playing at home and Nicky had said no to a particular request, Jess told Emma very clearly that “it’s okay, we’ll just ask again in a bit, and she’ll say yes.”
When Martin and Nicky’s dining room was extended, it was made firmly out of bounds for the girls’ makeup and toys; or at least one of them! Amy never went near it, unlike Jess who referred to it as ‘The Penthouse’ and regularly sneaked her friends inside for a bit of dressing up. Determined right from the start, and it stood her in very good stead when she really needed it.
When it came to Jess’s first car, it was Martin she approached as her best route to success, and he helped her find her beloved Scarlet, a bright red Suzuki Swift. She enjoyed razzing around with Scarlet and the independence it gave her. We’ll gloss over her reverse parking skills and that she always left for work or university in plenty of time to find a parking space large enough to manoeuvre around.
Jess was loyal… she had a strong sense of justice and was a fiercely loyal and kind friend. She would stand up for her friends or those she felt were being treated unfairly and needed someone in their corner. It was Jess and Emma who befriended Matthew who arrived at school in Year 3 and they stuck by each other’s side, resulting in an enduring and lifelong friendship. This loyalty and strength was something that UCLAN also recognised when she was asked if she would like to become a student rep and a voice for others.
Despite a difference in age Amy and Jess have always been loving and fun friends to our son Fin. It was to Jess that Fin turned for help when he wanted an induction into the world of dating. “Now Fin” she would say… “start by keeping things casual. First you’ve got to speak to them and then when you’ve done that you’ve got to talk to them.” Speaking and talking? What’s the difference and who knew there are so many stages to it these days?
Jess was helpful and caring, something that has been abundantly clear from all the beautiful cards, messages, flowers, and everything else her family have received. It’s also one of the reasons she enjoyed her time at Tesco so much.
For those of you who don’t know that’s actually how she met Dean - he had taken a faulty bag of salad back, and it just so happened that Jess was there to help. She made such an impression that he asked for her number along with his refund, and she said yes.
Dean was so dazzled that he apparently had to go and sit in the car for ten minutes to recover. Their relationship flourished into one of love and Dean would spend Jess’s breaks with her when she was working. When she was studying late, he would be a welcome and encouraging presence as he kept her company online. Dean was welcomed into Jess’s family and amongst her friends, and they continue to support one another now.
Jess not only loved people but also loved animals and eventually wore Martin and Nicky down enough for rabbits to arrive at home. Like plenty of other young people and their pets, it wasn’t long before mum and dad were doing all the looking after.
She also wanted a dog and this year the adorable bundle that is Betty arrived. Jess loved Betty and her cuddles but left the walking to Martin, and she very much enjoyed NOT walking Dean’s dog as well.
Animals aside, Jess also loved baking, cooking not so much. A suggestion that she might like to make the tea would be met with “why would I want to do that?” To be fair, I can’t blame her as Martin and Nicky are both fabulous cooks. One day Jess’s turn to cook at Dean’s house involved her rolling up with pizza and cookie dough but hey, who doesn’t love pizza on a Friday night?
Baking for Jess was different, and another way she showed her kindness and love for people. She was very talented - all her cakes were spectacular, even the first special cake that she baked with her trademark love for Grandma’s 80th birthday when she was just 14. They weren’t just your average Victoria sponge, but dazzling colourful creations designed to taste amazing and make you feel very special and loved, just like she was. We’ve all known and loved Jess in different ways, and none of us ever expected to be here today.
What you leave behind is not what is engraved on monuments but what is woven into the lives of others, and your presence here today is testament to that. Our memories of Jess and our love for her will allow her bright spirit and sparkling light to live with us always. Keep those memories in your hearts and talk about her often.
I said earlier that my words are inadequate so I’m going to finish with someone else’s:
Hazel Birdcall puts it beautifully in her poem ‘As I Sit in Heaven’
So live your life, laugh again, enjoy yourself, be free
Then I know with every breath you take; you’ll be taking one for me…
God Bless, Fly High Beautiful Jessica.